KVIFF echoes

I've just been to the Karlovy Vary film fest twice and I was absolutely taken by it every time. I love the atmosphere there, I love that so many people are joined together by their love of independent film. I love the way how these thousands of people tolerate each other in the large numbers. Damn, I'm not exactly what you'd call a "crowd person", but I can't say half a word against all these people. They don't stand on their heads during that week. Oh no. They patiently wait for their tickets, share the tickets with strangers if they can't get into a film, they patiently wait in the long lines for beer, toilette, halušky and the other junk food they sell in front of Hotel Thermal and even patiently wait with the others for their films they might or might not get to see at the last minute. Heck, I was there a whole week this year and must say that I haven't felt "surrounded" by crowds all that much.

After coming back with the same sort of euphoria the fest always leaves me with, I finally had a chance to read some of the stuff the fellow bloggers wrote about it. And I was expecting to find some sort of what I just wrote above, truth be told.

But no. After I read a couple of the "insightful" comments about the fest, I was totally disappointed, puzzled and then angry.

Here are a couple of them for you:

- first of all, the selection of the films wasn't worth much as usual (especially for the main competition) and the rest of the films from Cannes or Berlin were simply not enough, not bringing all that these fests have to offer
- why the fuck isn't the festival bringing better films for a hundred-million crown budget?
- why the heck there's no coffee machine in front of Thermal for the people waiting in the lines to see their movie?
- the fest is just for politicians and so on who just come for the feast at the Pupp without giving a damn about the fest
- let's cancel the entire charade and give the money to social benefits instead
- lines for the tickets – too long, hunt for the tickets – almost impossible if you don't wake up at four and get them early in the morning
- and my favourite one: Who the heck does John Malkovich think he is by daring to ask the crowds how many people saw his film versus how many saw the Transformers? A pseudo intellectual we think we are Mr. Malkovich, eh?

Of course there is much more – just try to visit some of the blogs of those "entrusted" with the job for the fest or "indy" cinema critics. Or even go the fest's facebook page, there's a true feast of these for you right there.

Well, I sat down and thought about all these complaints for a minute and then I suddenly felt this rush of anger in me and hence the need to sit down and write to you about it.

First of all, dear naysayers and KVIFF haters – STAY AT HOME NEXT YEAR! You'll make some room for people who actually want to be there and like the fest and because you sit in their seat they don't get to see films they'd like to see. They'll certainly appreciate it.

Second of all, the festival's been working freely for some mere twenty years now, so give it a break! You can't really compare it to Cannes or Berlin now can you? If you don't know what I mean, get some info about the fest's history. For all I know, the competition offered some rare pieces of work and great movies this year, Angel at Sea being my favourite and for all I can say, a great choice of the jury. You go pick up a camera and try to shoot a film, let's see how well you'll do. This is for all of you "pseudo critics" as my work colleague calls you.

Feasts at the Pupp? Oh, come on, don't get all jealous now :) Buy yourself some frozen shrimps in Albert, some caviar and some bubbly stuff, it'll make feel better – that's the next time your social benefits arrive, I mean.

Missing coffee machines? Well, write to the organisers and suggest it to them. Or make it happen yourself if you're so goddamn worried about it. Nobody stopping ya!

And finally – the tickets. A tough one, eh? Well, you try to pack your bag and go to your beloved Cannes or Berlin without any sort of accreditation and try to get to all those great films you'd like to see. Good luck. Don't you think it's great that so many people get to see those great films in such a cozy atmosphere, wearing jeans and sneakers, for so little money, get to talk to the world's most respected filmmakers (Master Classes) and watch the red carpet arrivals while sipping a beer at the Thermal's terrace? Good luck finding that elsewhere.

All I can say is that my heart always jumps seeing the packed screening halls and the passion for film coming from so many people. Yeah, you're not the only one loving good films, tough s**t.

And finally, John Malkovich has a right to ask the audience anything he wants. This was a democracy the last time I checked and after you do just a tenth of what he's done in his life, you can congratulate yourself.

So there. I said it.

By the way, in case you didn't know, KVIFF is also known as the world's most laidback festival. So, just grab a beer and relax. It's all gonna be there for you to bitch about next year again ;)